okay feeling abit rotten today so i'll just do a quick update.
went to see nenek @ SGH last thursday. been warded for vomitting. the meat she ate wasn't soft enough to eat so she started vomitting everything out. went there. thought it was just the meat. but doctors found out that her sugar level in her stomach is sort of like accumulating into her blard stream and wounds and that theres is only so much dialysis can do. and tis is not one of them. saw mama n aunt cry. haish we didnt tell nenek of her condition. didnt want her to worry.. came home.. suddenly started crying while showering. was thinking of nenek the whole night. why why why?!.. i won't have anymore grandparents after she's gone..arg! this is so unfair..
okay i feel unwanted in this house. having abit of a bad relationship with my mom now. it has never been good between us. even if it was, it'd only last a few months then it'll go back to the same old bad ways again. she can get very naggy at times and that obviously gets on my nerves. i just have so much anger in me that i have to restrain myself from talking to her. wait till we cool down then just maybe it'd be good again. haish i always feel that theres tis kind of bias-ness thing going on. watever. wenever im in the living room she'l stay either in her room or the dining room. if im in my room then she'l sit in the living room. haiz..i make my own mom feel restricted in her own home. what kind of daughter am i? i'm taking solace in work. u noe, to keep my mind of bad stuff. being busy with work can be so fun. anyways been tinking. of moving out. well not now. when im older and financially stable. when i tink i can support myself plus still give parents money. that'd be better for the both of us. our relationship might just get stronger. i'll never noe if that'd ever happen. i'll just have to wait and see..
so said iNa` on Saturday, August 19, 2006